Listen to Your Heart (Part 2)

As described in Part 1 of this series, I spent last Sunday in silence.  The motivation was for me to be still enough allow me to really LISTEN to my heart.  While writing the latest chapter of The Ascension Papers, 8 informed me that we had hit something of a speed bump.  Apparently there was something I was just not going to be able to getting about the true nature of love and how it pertains to ascension.  This is because I always try to understand things from the head.  8 suggested that I needed to take the next step with this.  I needed, instead, to discover the answer to this issue from "my heart".  Then I would KNOW it instead of understanding it.

8 said the reason I have been unable to hear what my heart is telling me was because  I was not really, properly LISTENING.  Even out here in the stillness of the farm where there isn’t a lot of external noise to distract me STILL I was not able to listen because of my habit of generating too much noise myself.  And it’s true: if I observe my own mind I find that I am never perfectly still and receptive.  I constantly fill my consciousness with noise and babble.  The only exception is when I am meditating but that is something that I do for about half an hour at the most.  8 recommended to me that I should be still for a whole day.  When I am sufficiently still then I will begin to HEAR.  So I agreed to try this.

And here is how it went…

I woke up Sunday morning and stayed in bed, lying quietly listening.  Well, mostly I was thinking about listening and filling my thoughts with all kinds of ideas of what listeing should be and how I should feel and… well… I wasn’t really very still.  So I mediated which went a bit better and I managed to release all thoughts for a while.  Until I realised that I HAD released all thoughts and began to think about  that.  And then I wondered how it would be to listen to my heart without thinking any thoughts.  And then I realised I was filling my mind with babble again!  This, I realised was going to be a lot harder than I thought.  I won’t bore you with the details of my day but I will tell you that I was often frustrated with myself.  “Being still” sounds easy.  You just stop thinking and then you listen, right?  I can tell you it is quiet a challenge to break the noise addiction.  At least I found it so.

By late afternoon I was done wrestling with myself.  I was done TRYING to be quiet.  I had had enough of attempting to find the right way towards stillness.  I was through with trying to listen.  So I decided the day was probably a waste but that I would just enjoy it as it was.  I made a snack and sat down to watch a truly breath-taking sun-set.  It was magnificent.  And in that quietude something came to me.  A thought sidled in through the back-door of my mind.  A thought about love.  A beautiful thought.  A thought arrived in such a way that it really touched me.  I didn’t so much think it as feel it.  I felt it to be true and it nearly brought tears to my eyes.  I knew THIS was what I had been waiting for.  Here it was.  Finally when I stopped trying and wresting, I got it.

I came inside and fired up my laptop.  Before I could think about how I was going to structure this or what approach I would take I found myself typing.  It flowed out of me in one go.  Non-stop, no editing and no changes I wrote it all down.  Even though it is (I’m pretty sure) going to go into The Ascension Papers, I’d like to share with you what I wrote.  Here it is:

I listened to my heart and this is what I was told...

In the beginning of every particle of consciousness, right from The One, right down to the smallest, newest particle of Life… there is a moment when that Being gains self-awareness.  We have paraphrased that moment as that being saying, “Here I am”.  But self awareness is always curious.  And therefore the next utterance can be paraphrased as, “What am I?

The journey outwards begins always with “here I am, what am I?’

Then the journey itself consists of “I might be this.  No wait, maybe I am that.  Or what if I am this.”  On and on and on and on.  Always searching for the answer.  Each time something new is tried there is a fragmentation of the consciousness.  New beings are sent out on a foray of self-discovery from within the consciousness of the parent being.  Variations are tried.  Multiples of possibilities explored.  Whole clouds of consciousness are expressed.  Multiplying and complexifying and then specialising and trying again.  Always seeking that moment of bliss and peace that comes from having FOUND THE ANSWER.  And in every instance, with every answer we have tried, we have pushed away from The One.  Further and further, we have pushed out.  Like a tidal wave that burst forth from but a teaspoon of water, we have surged out.  Becoming a tsunami of consciousness, we have pushed off from one another; outwards, outwards ever seeking THE TRUTH.  Ever seeking the answer…

What

Am

I

?

And here we find ourselves now on this planet Earth.  Way down in the densest place of consciousness.  You could say this is about as far out as the wave would ever push because this is about the deepest forgetfulness of the point of origin that could ever be achieved.  Thanks to The Veil of Unknowing and the choices we have all collectively taken… this is IT.  This is the furthest away that we can go.  Maybe it is possible to head out further?  Maybe someone wants to try?  I don’t.  I am ready to be a part of the returning.  Like all waves that have pushed up from the greatest depths of the ocean and found themselves crashing to the shore… this wave is going to return.  It is going to go surging back with ever increasing speed and exuberance to its source.  To The One.  We are returning.

And HOW are we to return?

It begins with the correct answer to the question “what am I?”

And the correct answer of course is… Love.

Every other answer causes further complexity.  Every other answer pushes you outwards and away.  Because every other answer implies something else that you are NOT.

For example.  If I am (as I have come to discover myself to be) a being called Delight, the child of Joy-Divine.  Then I am NOT all kinds of other things.  I am NOT fear, pain, sadness, loss, anger, hatred or misery.  Obviously.  But I am also not even stillness, peace, harmony, order, or patience.  I am not even kindness, honesty, justice, valour, dignity, steadfastness, dependability, righteousness or any other such worthy thing.  Do you see?  If I choose any thing at all and say “I am THAT” then I am in that very self-same moment saying “I am NOT that” to a whole host of other things.  So anything that I would claim myself to be causes separation, division and pushing away from The Oneness.

The ONLY exception to that rule is the statement, “I am Love”.  Not passion.  Not lust.  Not need.  Not any of these silly temporary little feelings that we usually refer to when we say the word love.  No.  I am Love with a capital L.  I mean the kind of Love that looks to another being and sees God in their eyes… sees the wonder and the perfection inside the heart of that being irrespective of the exterior they are currently wearing.  Love is that which is given to everything and everyone everywhere unconditionally always.  That is the Love I am talking about.

I am talking about the kind of Love that puts you down on your knees in gratitude that you are alive.  That threatens to crush your heart with the beauty of the world around you.  That makes you yearn to be the greatest and best and most magnificent that you could possibly be simply so that you are worthy to serve the Life that you perceive around you.

If THAT is the answer to your question.  If you can declare with surety, steadfastness and conviction, “I AM Love!”  Then you are an answer-bearer.  Then you are a particle of Life that is going back home.  In the very moment of that declaration, for you, the tide has turned.  You are then in the wave that is done rushing up the shore… and is now pulling back to sea.  And as you go back so you will collect other particles.  You will see everything that you have ever been and done in this lifetime and you will say “I am Love AND I am THAT”.  And as you go you will see more and more particles of Self and you will say “I am Love and I am this too, and THAT and that one and that one also.”  You will declare, “I am Love and I am ALL of these beings!”  And all of these beings will get carried home with you in the tide of your amazing Love.  And then you will meet your Inner-Self.  You will see it for its amazing and beautiful Self.  You will fall in Love with this being.  And you will see too its wounds and its pain.  And you will soothe them all with your capacity for Love.  “I am Love,” you will say, “and I AM THAT!” 

And so, whoever you are.  Wherever you are.  However you got to being here.  There will come a time in your journey home and in my journey home where we will be looking at the same great being and we will both be saying: “I am Love and I am THAT”.  And then you and I shall be One.  And indeed in due course all beings everywhere in All That Is will look to The One.  And we shall ALL declare, “I am Love and I am THAT!”

But for now, I look forward to the moment when I know that I am you and you are me.  And because I know that time is an illusion and all time is really now, I can already look out at you from across the divide of this bit of text.  I can see you reading this.  I can look at you and say, “I am Love and I am THAT!”

This I found to be a most beautiful and happy realisation.  It certainly was well worth the minor inconvenience of taking a day to be still and listen.

And so I’d like to challenge you.  I know not everyone has the kind of lifestyle that they can do this but if you do, if you can take a day to be still and listen to your heart, then I would like to encourage you as strongly as I can to do it.  I am certainly going to repeat the exercise from time to time. 

Please leave a comment and let me know what you think of what I got from my heart.  And then, if you DO decide to take a silent day please also leave a comment saying when you’ll be doing it.  I promise I will take some time on that day to hold you in my thoughts during my meditations and send you light and life-energy.  Try it.  I will be very surprised if you don’t come away from this day feeling that it was a very worthwhile exercise indeed.